a glutton's prayer
led by ed markowski
In the beginning I prayed for milk orange juice black coffee flap jacks maple syrup bacon or Canadian Bacon bacon and Canadian Bacon Jimmy Dean sausage a farmer's omelet rye toast or an English Muffin rye toast wheat toast sourdough toast and an English Muffin corned beef hash hash browns hasheesh rice krispies corn flakes shredded wheat one mimosa or a bloody mary two mimosas two bloody marys a California girl girl or a Canadian lady a California girl and a Canadian lady two Cambodian queens or three Columbian chicks and a California girl a Canadian lady two Cambodian chicks and three Columbian cocktails a Connecticut Queen from John's Oyster Resort and a blue velvet bathrobe
Midway through my prayer I prayed and pleaded for lobster quiche or crab quiche or caviar quiche crab quiche lobster quiche and caviar quiche grilled cheese cheese burgers fries or seasoned fries or chili cheese fries fries seasoned fries and chili cheese fries a bowl of chili chili rellenos chili weather three tacos egg foo young an egg roll a six pack of Lucifer's Long Island Style licorice twists a flame broiled Wolfgang Puck directly from the arctic depths of Alice Waters and a mink and ermine wet suit mailed factory direct from the town of Medicine Shoe Manitoba
At the end of my prayer I prayed pleaded begged and burped for Alaskan planked salmon Marxist red or scalloped potatoes California Gold Potatoes potato pancakes and scalloped potatoes broccoli rabe Communist beets asparagus kale baby back ribs or pork chops baby back ribs and pork chops a t-bone steak well done a Delmonico Steak medium well filet mignon medium butterflied pork chops a puppet named Lamb Chop chopped liver chop sticks Iron Chef Morimoto Ted Allen chopped salad and three chopped champions Kobe Prime Rib rare and a Waldorf Salad seasoned with saffron gold leaf sterling silver and sea salt extracted from a heavenly mirage stranded in the Sea of Galilee platinum shaded cucumber enhanced French Silk Speedos and a California girl a California girl a California girl a California girl a California girl girl a California girl a California girl a California girl and two genuine rare women raw Amen Lord.
When I opened my eyes one scant second beyond my praise and adulation a rat a vulture an iguana, a burlap robe black concrete Speedos Senior Citizen style butterscotch plaid Bermuda shorts with an elastic and velcro waistband Squeaky Fromme and a freak show fat lady billed as Fattoush From Beirut appeared at my feet.